Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
