I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
