not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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