I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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