he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
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