Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
