just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
