Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
