In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
