Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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