Heybabeimwearingurpanties
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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