You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
MIDGETS
????
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
