I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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