you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
