he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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