handjob tips. give me some.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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