At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
