some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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