But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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