Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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