i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
