rhymes with "ouble enetration"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
