i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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