And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
