Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
