Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
