I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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