better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
