i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
i think my cat just said my name.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
