***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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