once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
