Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
