i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
