We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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