Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
false alarm. still invincible.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
