she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
