$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize