Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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