youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Come see our sink grown plant.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You made out with two different species that night
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize