i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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