If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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