Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
