The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
