she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
