I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
