AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
