never play flip cup with pint glasses
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
