all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
