i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
