Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
