I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
its liver damage thursday
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
