I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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