I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
