So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
