According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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