you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
