your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
