did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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