Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
being pregnant is like rehab
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
