My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
