Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
